Intend a Little Joy

A few weeks ago at the shops, a woman approached me with a white rose. She said, “Would you like a flower? ” I gave her a look that I’m sure she had seen before, a ‘this is cool but why are you doing this?’ sort of look. She smiled and said, “I’m just trying to make the world a brighter place.” I brought the rose home, where it lived for about two weeks in a vase of water on my desk. It was such a beautiful bloom that my friend Marty thought it was fake. I shared the story with everyone who saw it. That woman did indeed make the world a little bit brighter.

Last week, I was at the grocery store with Tommy and we wheeled our cart by stand full of roses. He said, “Mommy, can we get some flowers?” I hesitated, knowing the grocery budget, but relented. We took a dozen roses and, with little Danny (age 2) in tow, we stood in front of the grocery store and handing out flowers to unsuspecting passersby. Tommy kept trying to approach people and in his soft little voice said, “Would you like a flower?” Some folks didn’t even hear him, and they went on their busy way. Others did hear him and the joy on their faces was priceless and immediate. An act of kindness from a stranger, for no particular reason, has that effect.

Danny, on the other hand, tended to run around with the flower and sort of wave it around in front of each shopper. I think he was taken for an unsupervised child a time or two, but, once he was understood, the same wave of smiles would come over the surrounding faces. Well, most of them anyway. In fact, there was quite a range of responses:

• We gave one to a woman and then her daughter, or maybe granddaughter (I’m terrible at guessing ages). They both just stood there grinning with the fellow they were with and watching the boys hand out more.
• One woman saw the boys handing out flowers and stopped briefly to get one. But Tommy was empty handed and didn’t see her. She left awkwardly, but paused once or twice before she went, still smiling, not sure if she was included.
• Another woman with a baby in her arms saw me with my camera and said, “Please don’t take my picture.” “No problem,” I replied and then, “Would you still like a flower?” “No thank you,” she said, as Tommy tried to hand her a flower. But her baby reached out for it. “Oh well, okay,” she said as she let him take it.
• Before we left the grocery store, an elderly woman came in with one of our roses and said, “Do you want this?” I said, “Oh, no thanks, we just handed them out. It’s for you!” She said, “Oh, that’s so nice. A man in the parking lot just gave it to me. What a nice thing to do!”

Despite the low points, our flower escapade made me feel warm and fuzzy all day long. It also illuminated the many different reactions to the same simple act. The majority of folks were full of happiness at this tiny gift. Others completely missed that anything at all was going on. Some people found something to be pessimistic about in a seemingly harmless gesture. Some just stood by to watch, taking in the moment. Still others found a way to pass it on. People  approach giving differently, too: some bashful and shy in their approach; others confident and determined.

Sometimes intentions are misunderstood. Sometimes love is mistaken for malice, or kindness for exclusion. But mostly… generally… intended joy brings joy. If we all intend a little joy today, the world might just pass it on tomorrow.